NO AMBITION FULL
NO AMBITION PROFESSIONAL

You’re not snobby for finding an intelligent, sexy boyfriend. You’re not a gold-digger for wanting a guy who is more ambitious in life. So before I get into talking about your boyfriend, let’s talk about you. Love is only easy when we’re so whipped that we can’t even think clearly. Which means the world is grey, not black and white. But it sounds like you’re seeing things quite clearly. In such circumstances, there are no decisions to be made even if your boyfriend has no ambition.

I think everyone here can feel your pain.

Thank you, CJ, for writing one of the most self-aware letters I’ve run. I should be happy to have a man who loves me and whom I can trust. Please tell me I’m being too hard on him and myself.

NO AMBITION PROFESSIONAL

I find the sexiest thing about a man is his intelligence, and no matter if a person is well-read or not, a great deal of intelligence comes from professional life experience. I would never say those things to him, but it’s how I feel. I’m very independent, but I’d also like to get some reassurance and empathy from a reliable source from time to time. I can’t let go of wishing he were a stronger, more creative, more successful man who I could look to for experienced life advice.

NO AMBITION FULL

A full day of freedom in my life does not revolve around TV, 90% of his would. He, on the other hand, is satisfied with bringing home an okay paycheck to put food on his table, not that concerned with finishing college (he’s 31), and rarely has anything interesting to talk about outside of “us,” movies, and other media outlet driven conversation. I’m busy all the time professionally and personally because I thrive on feeling accomplished. I’m very much that young professional go-getter with a high-stress job, always moving to the next promotion. I wouldn’t be picky about his career field of choice, but at the rate, it’s going, I’ll never see him in a 6 o’clock loosened tie… which is a huge turn-on for me. We are compatible on many levels, but there is one thing that continues to turn me off (from ten years ago to now), and that is his lack of ambition to be successful professionally. He is VERY persistent and continues to take me back into his life if I let him. We have known one another for about ten years dating on and off, taking a four-year break at one point. I have been struggling with the fact I have a wonderful man in my life who loves me more than I’ve ever felt loved, but I’m just not satisfied somehow. If you’re having a difficult time deciding what do with your boyfriend who lacks ambition, keep reading to learn more. So you’re left with a dilemma: stick it out with the nice guy who doesn’t aspire to more, or try to aim higher with an ambitious man and take your chances that he’s just as sweet. On the other hand, just because a man is financially successful doesn’t mean he’s a great partner. A ambitious man who has plans to create his own path to success and won’t settle for less. You are rightfully questioning whether you should be with a different kind of guy – a man with life goals and big dreams. Asking these questions doesn’t make you shallow it makes you practical. Naturally, you’ll worry about your future and ask yourself how you’re going to cover the bills and provide for the future, especially if you want to have a family. I mean, it’s great to have a man who is on the same page in so many areas, but what do you do if you are the only one in the relationship who aspires to more? What happens when your man is content with his minimum wage job, smoking pot, and playing video games? What are you supposed to say when you feel like he wants to achieve nothing significant with his life? But despite your healthy relationship, one thing is missing – your boyfriend’s ambition. You enjoy doing many the same things, and you have moments where you feel really connected. He’s a nice guy – loving, fun, sweet that’s why you started dating him in the first place.

No ambition